Feeling sad

Today I'm having one of those days where you feel low but you just can't put your finger on why.

Elsa and I had a lovely morning after Dane left for work, she was happy and content, napped ok, but when I tried to get her to nap this afternoon she was a nightmare.

I suppose I have created this by letting Elsa nap on me during the day as it was always the easiest option, she will not nap in her cot for longer than 30-45 minutes and she always wakes up cranky like she is still tired. I would love to be one of those mums who can just put their baby in their cot at nap time and they actually nap in it!! How it would be lovely to get crap done. All that being said, she sleeps fantastically at night.

Do any other mums feel like they are just going to explode if they don't get some alone time? Don't get me wrong, I love Elsa so much and I realise how lucky I am to have her, however today I am having a day where I feel like I just want to clock off.

I have been feeling really anxious lately with so many things running through my mind, I often wake up worrying about things like money or returning to work, and also I feel like I don't take Elsa to enough baby groups. They just mess up her nap schedule and I get worried about taking her out shopping etc as I worry about feeding her in public.  Does anyone else feel like this mummy world is just so competitive, and somehow you don't quite fit?

I've left Elsa with Dane as I wrote this as I was having one of those 'I'm going to explode' moments, and now I feel like I can add bad mum/wife to the mix of things to worry about.

Another thing which is worrying me is my post baby body, it doesn't feel like mine anymore, I feel flabby and wobbly and generally just gross. I don't get time to do my hair, nails or makeup and whilst these seem like such small, trivial things, I do feel that they are important to not only feel like a woman, but also like you.

I know that I sound like a whingebag and really I realise how lucky I am, I suppose I'm just having one of those days. I'm sorry if I have brought any of you down with me.